Who Are You, Really?
By Leianne Wilson
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Each of us is actually comprised of a complex set of
personalities, one of which is the true self. We enter this
world as a newborn with only our true self. From the moment
of birth we begin to develop complex sets of personalities
designed to aid us in surviving mentally, emotionally and
physically in this world. We develop personalities with
particular sets of behaviors and attributes designed to
handle the variety of situations we encounter in life.
I like to call these personalities your cast of
characters. Depending on the situation at hand you call on
one of your characters to step in and handle things as best
as it knows how. You have a character that deals with
co-workers and supervisors, a character that deals with
family and a character that handles your love relationships.
Some of the characters have personality traits in common but
each has a unique ability, behavior or goal. We transition
from using one character to another like we change outfits
and who we are is comprised of the integrated collection of
characters.
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The question is who is the true self? Each character has
been created to help you get what you need and want from
life. Many of those needs and desires were taken on from
your parents, friends and relatives. You were taught to want
good grades, a secure job, a family and a nice home. Those
desires may not really be what you want at all.
We get so caught up in who we think we are that we mistake
our characters desires for our own. We need to ask the real
me to stand up. We need to ask the true self who am I, what
am I about, what do I really need and want from life and
what is important to the real me I was born as?
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Did you know that 90% of all problems, stresses,
anxieties, struggles and frustrations come from not knowing
who you really are? Close your eyes and take a minute to
list five attributes that describe yourself. You probably
came up with words like thoughtful, funny, friendly,
intelligent etc.... These words really describe your
personality which is different from whom you really are.
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Many of us are so busy carrying out the lifestyle of the
90's that those questions never get directed to the true
self until we hit what is call "mid-life crises". Mid Life
Crises is a period of re-evaluation, a point at which we
begin to ask our self what is the meaning of my life and
what do I need to be fulfilled. If we stop now and ask those
questions "crises" isn't necessary. What makes crises so
uncomfortable are the thoughts and feelings of confusion. It
is difficult to handle life in a clear, confident and
enthusiastic way when you are out of touch with what you
really want and need from a situation. It is the confusion
and indecision that causes anxiety, stress, strife and
discontent.
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